My year as an author

It’s been just over a year since I first published, Hey New Girl. And what a ride it’s been. From the whole writing process, to revisions, editing and marketing, it’s definitely something. The springtime and summer is usually when my creative juices are flowing the most, stories popping up and flooding my brain left and right; but this year is different. I’ve been bombarded with new stories, while feeling an obligation to continue the series I started my journey with. I’m constantly being torn between Reed’s story (Catica, Book 3) and starting something entirely new. It’s lead me to review my writing style, the types of stories I want to tell, and how I want to tell them.

In this thought process, I realized a lot about the Catica world. I wrote it from an old part of me, one who read—and wrote—a ton of fan-fiction about her favorite rockstars as a teenager, and that style of writing is very evident in books one and two. And frankly, I’m not sure I’m there anymore. I want to change my style, I want to write something new. I want to meet these new characters blossoming in my mind, and give their stories the time of day. But, I’m having a difficult time with feeling guilty over leaving my other characters high and dry, they were my first book babies after-all. I want them to have their happily ever afters, too. And I believe they will, I just don’t know when.

I suppose the beauty in being a writer, and a person in general, is that you get the choice every day to reinvent yourself, your life, your work. And every day I’m changing, every day I wake up a new person. And I’m certainly a different person than I was three years ago when I wrote Hey, New Girl. Maybe that’s the reason why I don’t currently resonate with the story, that young girl inside me that was pouring her heart and soul onto paper, she’s not sitting at the surface anymore. I’ve changed. And that’s perfectly okay!

So, maybe this just means it’s time. It’s okay to change my direction and pursue something new. It’s okay to let other projects sit on the back burner until their time comes. It’s okay, and encouraged, to let go of the guilt keeping me stagnant from starting anything else, holding me hostage in a paralyzed state where I’m creating nothing but idea notes on paper, unable to give anything my full attention. I deserve to let myself create freely. The young girl inside me who fell in love with writing a long time ago, deserves to see other stories come to life. And sometimes that means starting over.

I don’t regret the way I wrote the Catica series, it was written just the way it needed to be. For me, and for the characters and their development; but sometimes I fear readers will assess it, taking it it’s juvenile state and assume that’s all there is to my writing, that that’s my style. For those who read Catica, I’m almost certain they will pick up the nostalgia, and if they were anything like me as a teen, they will feel like they are reading something from their youth, taking them back to those vulnerable years when life was messy and chaotic. But, from here on out—for the time being—I want to switch it up. I need to switch it up. My creativity is depending on me extending my branches. I owe it to myself.

If you’ve made it this far into my rambling, thank you, and I hope you stick around for more, because I’m tired of being stagnant. I want my river of words to start flowing again. It might just be a trickle at first until I get going, but I have big plans, and I can’t wait for you to follow along :)

Remember, don’t pursue your happiness, create it. Chase your dreams, they’re worth it!